A DREAM OR...?

           It all began, oddly enough with a toothache. Now if you know me, you know it had to be a pretty bad one if I ended up in the Dentist's office. It was and I did and that began one of the most amazing experiences in my life. As you may have gathered, I am somewhat afraid of the dentist's office. Truthfully, you would have a better chance of getting me to accept a full round of shock therapy than you would getting me to see a dentist. Well on this particular occasion, I asked for sweet air or nitrous oxide as it is known. Although I had never had it before I was told that it was quite helpful. As soon as the tank was turned on, I took several deep breaths. Between the sweetness of the air and my fear of the dental work, it was surprising that the tank was not drained in ten seconds.

     There was an instant sense of relaxation as I laid there breathing in the mixture. Suddenly, I felt my entire body begin to shake; it was as if my entire body was vibrating. This odd sensation only lasted for a few seconds before I "woke" up. I did not know where I was but it certainly was not the dentists office. I got the sense that I was in a room of some sort although I did not see any walls. Everything around me was white, a very bright white. In fact, I was having a hard time focusing my eyes. There were not many colors in this place, just that bright whiteness. Was I dead? This was not like any of the stories I had heard about near death experiences. There had not been a tunnel to pass through nor did I find I had any type of choice such as go towards the light or stay where I was. There were no deceased relatives waiting around to guide me one way or another. Therefore, this could not be death. So, what was it?

     The answer was not long in coming. I became aware of  a presence near me. I turned around and saw a man walking towards me. He wore a white robe of sorts and had a white beard. He exuded a sense of kindness and his manner was gentle. He spoke softly but with a strong voice. I experienced an almost overwhelming sense of love as he drew nearer to me. My mind was racing; I was obviously quite confused. Was this man God? Is this place Heaven? Before I could say a word, he put up a hand and told me that all of my questions would be answered shortly. It appeared to me that he was able to read thoughts. As soon as I had that thought, he shook his head and said that he could indeed read my thoughts and that his would be available to me as well. He then said that it might be easier for me if we spoke our thoughts rather than convey them telepathically as I was unaccustomed to using telepathy as a means of communication. He then asked me to give him a few seconds to explain the situation and promised to answer any and all questions I may have. I stood there dumbstruck as he smiled at me. Thus began the dialog.

     "Your eyes will adjust to the brightness." I was told. Our colors are as bright as this white is although you will not see them today. It is not yet your time to be here and you must know that. You are not dead because there is no such thing as death. Once I have satisfactorily answered your questions, you will have to return to where you were until it is your time to be here. This cannot be negotiated. I must also point out to you that while I will explain every secret to life, you will not be able to take that knowledge back with you. You can only take back that which I allow you to take back. When the time is right, you will remember all of it but that time is not near. It will do you no good to try to remember although I know you will try. Hypnosis will not work nor will meditation. In time, the answers will come when they are most needed." There was nothing brusque about his answers. In fact, as he spoke I felt enveloped in a feeling best described as love. There was no fear, just a feeling of all encompassing peace. I have never felt anything like it before or since. It was an overwhelming feeling. My mind continued to race. The thought kept going through my head that I had so many questions I wanted to ask and I feared there would not be enough time to ask them. Again, the man spoke. "There is no time here, time is an illusion. You have always known that. I will now answer any of your questions." And did I have questions to ask!

     It seemed to me that every hurt I had ever experienced, every injustice I had ever witnessed as well as all of my fears and desires came forth. I remember asking general questions about the world at large and specific questions about my own little microcosmic world. I asked about belief systems and religions. The words came tumbling out. The most amazing thing was that there was an answer to every question. More amazing than that was there was a good answer for every one of those questions. Although I only remember fragments of the answers, I was told that our concept of God is correct but it is also wrong. I knew at that moment that he was appearing to me as a man because that was what I would expect him to look like, not because that is his true form. However, he never stated that he was God. He also said that our various religions are much like our concept of God; elements are correct but much of it is wrong too. I suddenly understood what he was saying. I felt gleeful much like a child does when he learns something exciting for the first time. My God, it is all so simple! That thought played over and over in my mind. The answers are so simple and the key to life is right under our noses. There is no way we can miss it. The key to life is simplicity. As that thought was read, the man pointed out that this was the very reason why I could not bring the information back. It is up to you to find your own  answers and they are indeed right under your noses," he told me. If you have ever been awestruck to the point where your mouth just hung open and you could not speak, you have a slight idea of the way I felt at that moment. Everything was so clear at that moment. I actually felt totally disassociated from our physical plane of existence. We are so close to the answers, I thought. So very close.  

     Still, the suspicious part of me was not satisfied. Sure, those answers to my original questions were great but there was still so much to ask. With that, more questions were thrown out. The first of which was why would you answer all of my questions if you are not going to let me remember the answers? Once again, the answers were supplied. With those answers came more awe. I would be able to remember but not until the time was right. That did not mean that I would have those answers while on the physical plane but in time I would know all that and more. The single thought repeated itself over and over again: "it is so simple, it is so simple!" It was impossible at that moment to imagine how anyone could possibly miss it. The answers are right in front of us. For example, I asked why children had to suffer? After hearing the answer, I remember thinking to myself that of course, it all made sense. Not only did it make sense but it has to be this way. This is the only way it can be.

     This back and forth question and answer session seemed to go on for hours. Every answer was given with pure love. There was no impatience, no sense that I had asked a silly question. All the while I felt unending love from this man. I was reminded again that I would have to return from whence I came but I was encouraged to ask as many questions as I wanted. Since time does not exist, there was no reason to rush. How do we miss these things, I kept wondering? After all, the answers are so simple and they are right before us. Every pain, every hurt, it all made perfect sense. How can we possibly worry about anything? There is no reason to. It is all part of a wondrous plan, a beautifully weaved tapestry. It is total perfection. How can we not see this?

     Sadly, I was told that it was time to go back. If I were asked to say how long I felt I had been there, I would have to say that it was at least a full day, possible more. However long it was, I knew one thing: I did not want to go back. I begged for the chance to stay there in that light, that love. However, it did no good. I remember thinking to myself that one thing was for certain: life is so simple that there is no way I will not remember what I had just learned. It was far too simple to forget. Almost laughingly, the man reminded me that when I returned, I would only remember bits and pieces. No, I thought, it is just too simple to forget. The man then walked up to me and said I would be given a choice as to where I would return. He said that I should choose the one that would make this experience seem more real. The choices were I could wake up in the dentist's chair before the work was started, I could wake up at home after the work had been done or I could wake up in a hospital. Which one would most validate this experience for me? It was not an easy decision. The simplest would be to wake up at home but then it might seem like it was a dream. Ditto for the hospital idea. However, if I wake up in the dentist's chair, that would prove it was a real experience. After all, the experience lasted for at least a full day. Therefore, there is no way it could have taken place in a few minutes. So, I opted to wake up in the dentist's chair. In retrospect, that was probably not a good choice. The dental work hurt like hell.

     Well, I woke up and sure enough, I was in the dentist's chair. He was standing over me asking me if I was okay. He told me that I "freaked out" on him. He said that I started to shake and he was afraid I was going to have a seizure. He explained that this is a common reaction the first time someone uses nitrous oxide. He also suggested that I not use it again. I asked him how long I had been out and he said it was only about a minute, maybe less. I was in shock. How could that whole experience have taken place in a minute? It was impossible, yet it had happened. Incredible, I thought but at least I now know the secret to life. After all, it is so simple. The key is…, is…? I had no clue, not even a trace of a clue. "This cannot be happening." I thought. "How could I forget this?" Well, I do not know how but I most certainly did. Some things did stick with me though. I now believe that all religions are both "right" and "wrong." No one group has it all right yet. There is indeed a God although I cannot say for certain that it was God who I met. Whoever it was he was filled with love. I believe that our purpose in this life is to grow to the point where we do understand. Although I do not remember the key to life, I do believe that love plays a major role. What I have also taken from that experience is the belief that when our time is up on this plane, we will be going to a place that is so unbelievably better than this one. In fact, we are unable to comprehend just how wonderful it is. I have lost any fear I have of dying and while the death of loved ones still hurts me, it is comforting to realize that they are now living in that place of love, simplicity and beauty.                

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